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My Comments & Reviews:


vivididol
Wed Feb 14 16:30:18 2018

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My Review of Strength by annalame
New
my own personal viv would be to cut out 2/3rds of the "There is" to improve the flow and make the reader do some work. I would alternate this, for example only use it as the1st line, and later only use it as the 3rd line (excluding the 1st and second). Try reciting it to see what i mean. Readers can be lazy and they can get annoyed when a writer makes them repeat a line over and over again that they already know is implied. Hope this helps, if it doesn't, ignore it
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vivididol
Sun Jan 28 15:55:21 2018

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My Review of Alone with my head by lonliness
people are not here to judge you they are here to review your writing. if you are saying you can not take a critical review it is up to you to make that clear to others. I believe there is a box you can tick to that effect ?
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vivididol
Sun Jan 14 12:25:07 2018

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My Review of Hide and Seek by chrome
i am at a bit of a loss as to what you wish to achieve with this poem. at times the "speed" of the rhyme suits the overall theme of a chase, though the purpose of the chase appears vague and reaches no solution. There are references to Greek mythology with the river Styx and to Alice in Wonderland with no real context with regard to the theme of poem itself. random phrases are thrown in that throw the reader and distract from the central theme. the hunter becomes the hunted merely at the whim of the writer with no reason given for such a seismic shift in the relationship. the whole thing just seems to be a jumbled mish mash of lines thrown together with no real coherence. Other than that , It's fine : )
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vivididol
Tue Dec 26 18:36:12 2017

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My Review of we sleep in our secondhand beds by aSamLoomis
i like this poem
a very fine metaphor successfully carried through the whole poem. a melancholy read, but no less pleasant for all that
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vivididol
Mon Dec 26 17:18:06 2016

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My Review of 15 Word Poem by augustrush
death reminds people of their own mortality
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vivididol
Sun Nov 13 16:36:36 2016

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My Review of Catch 22 by KSPEARS15
nice blues
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vivididol
Sat Sep 10 13:57:40 2016

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My Review of NAMTAKA TENA(I WANT HIM AGAIN) by milpeace
u told your story well, i felt myself being drawn into it, very nice
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vivididol
Sat Aug 27 21:10:23 2016

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My Review of Balloon by Siriusly-Kendall
nicely constructed piece (except for the irritating double-line spacing), a simple but effective image, very enjoyable to read
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vivididol
Sat Aug 27 20:49:17 2016

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My Review of My Mass Grave (Ha Ha!) by JoanDZombie2RC
a more macabre poem than My Boat and more enjoyable as a result. nice imagery. i'm not a fan of explanatory notes but these were tempered by being amusing
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vivididol
Sat Aug 27 20:44:00 2016

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My Review of My Boat (Ha Ha!) by JoanDZombie2RC
interesting and amusing. in ur world u are the Queen of everything i guess. i should probably feel sorry for those little people, but i don't.
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vivididol
Thu Aug 25 07:56:51 2016

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My Review of Crap Poems Series #2 by JoanDZombie2RC
forks go in the road, spooning is reserved for lovers and the knives are always out !
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vivididol
Thu Aug 18 22:13:50 2016

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My Review of Crap Poems Series #1 by JoanDZombie2RC
Well it has certainly worked for others
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vivididol
Tue Aug 2 20:57:53 2016

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My Review of SCARRED THROUGH GROWTH by melonciahoko
"i'm a writer of my own story and my legend it's yet to be told" ... i believe you! (be careful of grammar though, "scared" and "scarred" for example). nice work.
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vivididol
Tue Aug 2 20:26:45 2016

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My Review of Don't Think by Kassandra
my immediate reaction was "the lady doth protest too much" but on second reading there is an undercurrent that suggests violence (emotional or actual) on the part of the lover as well as defiance from the author. the ambiguity is interesting. there is never any suggestion that this relationship is at an end so i guess they continue to dance around each other like two cage fighters waiting for the opportunity to strike the next blow
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vivididol
Thu Jul 28 10:40:49 2016

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My Review of Chances by parkerj
nice bouncy little ditty that tells a familiar tale many will relate to
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vivididol
Sat Jul 16 01:22:47 2016

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My Review of BLACK SKIN, IS BEAUTIFUL SKIN by sereon
i like the sentiments, but only the really, really good rap artists are poets, the rest are simply slaves to the rhyme so if u are going to employ that method of writing u better set ur sights on being damned good
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vivididol
Sat Jul 16 01:12:04 2016

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My Review of WEAR YOUR CAP ONLY IF IT FITS. by sereon
some real stand out lines in this poem and the concept/message itself is spot on and well planned out. whilst it is xxxtimes better than a great deal of stuff on here i have to say (because i feel this author is capable of much better with a little effort) it is severely let down by some extremely dodgy metaphors. could be an excellent poem ...
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vivididol
Thu Jul 7 02:56:25 2016

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My Review of A Poem by pymlucid
it started well but i got bored quickly due to the laborious layout and didn't reach the end unfortunately.
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vivididol
Thu Jun 23 00:36:54 2016

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My Review of Impedance by shilo2231
5 stars and an idiotic comment ; does one balance out the other ? or which takes precedence? mmm ... anyway enough of my digression; ur poem ...

loved the first verse, got lost half way thru the 2nd with the "kite" line and ... well i know how sensitive u yanks can be so i won't even mention the 3rd :/ Off to read some of ur better ones
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vivididol
Thu Jun 23 00:28:01 2016

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My Review of Scapegoat by shilo2231
a very deep and interesting piece, obviously u put a lot of thought into ur work (and the social work training comes across as well I'm not sure about the structure, the breaks don't appear to be in the right place at times (course everyone reads different, possibly?) and is there really any need for the weaving in and out of lines? (such a mechanism works very occasionally when it suits the tone or movement of the poem but to use it consistently without any real purpose quickly deflects from any dramatic effect that may be intended). overall i greatly enjoyed reading the content.
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vivididol
Thu Jun 23 00:16:58 2016

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My Review of New Drug by shilo2231
i didn't feel u were describing a "high"; more of a "downer" lol. but some nice lines in this and the emotion was apparent without being over-stated (a failing of many poets). enjoyable read.
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vivididol
Mon Jun 20 01:21:56 2016

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My Review of All I Ever Hear by Kassandra
a nice sentiment, and some nice lines and a rhythm that drags the reader along
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vivididol
Mon May 23 17:36:00 2016

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My Review of Treachery by IzzyDead
the cock crowed thrice to signal Peter's denial of Christ, Judas was the betrayer, is denial a form of betrayal, probably, but not in the same way (i'm not religious by the way, i just remember my indoctrination : ) That last line brought up all those thoughts and detracted from the rest of the poem for me. it probably won't for others though.Overall i liked it though.
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vivididol
Mon May 23 17:17:43 2016

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My Review of Tapestry by IzzyDead
it's ur poem so how u view it wat's important. if u really want another perspective however ... i would have combined the first two verses as they are a continuous thought, i would have a full stop at repair because it feels like a natural ending. the last three lines to stand alone, though i would remove the "but" (possibly add "there" at the end instead) i.e. making that line "Still it hangs there," (note comma). But that's my personal viewpoint and i certainly wouldn't change MY poem on someone else's advice lol. I really enjoyed the sustained metaphor though. nice poem : )
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vivididol
Mon May 23 17:05:42 2016

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My Review of Ablution by IzzyDead
Beautifully written from deep within the bowels of ur heart : )
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