folk of feodora's lane...www.folkoffeodoraslane.biz

Queen of nine days

Facebook

Twitter

Myspace

Email This

Join FanClub

View Portfolio

Author: eliza

Created: May 14, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Entry Type: Poem, G (All)

Category: History | Love | Love

Entry Stats: 4.67 Stars by 20 users with 24 comments 761 views

Queen of nine days

Pick petals from this pretty flower
await my death this final hour

i watched them take to tower hill
my Guildford as my heart stood still

in bluest skies,the ravens soared
as London's masses cheered and roared

with Axe they severed my loves life
i sit alone, his truest wife

and all for sake of crown and heir
my neck,that once you called so fair

will fall and die at tower green
nine days thee hosted me as Queen

oh Guilford ,keeper of my heart
no longer shall we be apart

at last the final petal falls
my name i hear all England call

impatiently i long for death
your name ,i shout with final breath

the sweetest day 19th July
tonight again with thee I'll lie

at rest ,so young aged seventeen
the Queen is dead..... long live the Queen

eliza2010

Last Modified: May 23, 2010 at 01:25 pm

Author Notes

The tragyc story of Lady Jane Grey ...who was used as a puppet
in the year 15.53 .She didnt want to be Queen and reined for nine days until Queen Mary or bloody Mary was declared righful heir to the thrown ....and seventeen year old Jane and her young husband Guildford 's fate was sealed

The author would love to hear your feedback but you must be logged in to do that. If you are a member of Writers-Network click here to login and review this writing entry.

Not a member? Not a problem! You can register here, it's free for everyone

Comments & Reviews (

X 21)

SPaddington
December 17, 2012

Helpful:

It is SPLENDID. I love it. It paints the story before you. It was never so clear before.

Additional Comments (0)

There are no comments on this review.

TheSleeper
April 06, 2012

Helpful:

Very good

Lovely poem, really nice images

I love it when a poet repaints the past from an unsung character's perspective, and this was excellently acheived here. My only complaint would be to check your grammar in places, but that's a minor thing.

Additional Comments (0)

There are no comments on this review.

DebsB54
January 14, 2012

Helpful:

amazing

i really like how this is based on history. i also like how you have made it rhymeit hard to do. i deffiantly will read more of your work.

Additional Comments (0)

There are no comments on this review.

granbee
December 07, 2011

Helpful:

Excellent,almost Superior

Might have a bit more punch if some of the prepositions were removed. Also would like to see slightly more pointed hint of young bravery and acceptance earlier in the lines about Guiford's observed fate. Otherwise, just wonderful!

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
December 07, 2011
(Creator)

I hear you..thank you for your fantastic feed back

saiom
December 06, 2011

Helpful:

Filmmakers have lied about Lady Jane Grey...

Your poem is perfect... in the power of its
content and the beauty of its form

a spotlight

Please keep writing

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
December 07, 2011
(Creator)

What a great comment..thank you so very much..xx

nataliemccart
September 20, 2010

Helpful:

Excellent

Loved this poem. So beautifully written. It was like butter on my tongue so smooth. It rhymed so well and told the story so nicely. Great job!

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
September 20, 2010
(Creator)

thank you so much...i absolutely love history but dont know if it is suited to the site...so posted this one any way...so comments like this are so encouraging....eliza keating

TIMagination
August 31, 2010

Helpful:

Awesome

I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said. An excellent poem.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
September 01, 2010
(Creator)

i love history especially the tudors .....so thank you and i only hope i done poor little lady jane justice ...eliza x

scousa1
June 05, 2010

Helpful:

hi Elia , i really enjoyed this whole aspect of this, so well constructed, superb....joe.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 06, 2010
(Creator)

thank you joe,im pleased you liked it ...i love history so really enjoyed writing this one ....you are always very kind ...eliza

Hannah92
June 04, 2010

Helpful:

Bravo

This was excellent.....very well written...i cant really describe.....but i hope the spotlight can reflect that...well deserved too

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 04, 2010
(Creator)

thank you Hannah,i appreciate you taking the time to read and leave such great a comment ....eliza

MichaelFrost
June 04, 2010

Helpful:

You did it again

You have me sitting here in wow. I didn't know you posted anything of late, but now I sure do and I am so happy to have read this.

Perfect. 5'er all the way and a move up that SL ladder.

--Michael Frost

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 04, 2010
(Creator)

thank you,you really are great encouragement for me and a true friend on this site.......eliza

kath
June 03, 2010

Helpful:

Superb

I visited the Tower of london on Tuesday and you have captured the events perfectly and painted a poignant portrait of innocence condemned. That we ever had a Queen Jane is something many people do not know, yet you have brought it beautifully to life here.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 03, 2010
(Creator)

oh thank you so much........eliza

silverwings
June 02, 2010

Helpful:

Superb

Eliza...what a fantastic account of a story so tragic...as usual beautifully written...Jules...

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 03, 2010
(Creator)

you always leave such encouraging comments,thank you so much ...eliza

atherton
June 02, 2010

Helpful:

wow

that was so good! if someone told me this was written hundreds of years ago by a famous poet i'd say "yeah...i see that"

i'm impressed with the quality shown here for sure.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 02, 2010
(Creator)

that is the best review you could have given ...so glad you got the feel of this ...i have a passion for history and enjoy writing in this style ...thank you so much ...eliza

BlissVixen
June 02, 2010

Helpful:

fantastic imagery!

i could just see it and feel it! very poetic heartfelt tragic and well done!

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
June 02, 2010
(Creator)

thank you for reading..appreciate so very much ...eliza

issacmuhammed
May 17, 2010

Helpful:

spotligth

ur queen......liked it
issac

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 17, 2010
(Creator)

oh thank you for your amazing comment....eliza

snare
May 16, 2010

Helpful:

i loved the flow, and you how wove a beautiful poem around a historic event. amazing!

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 16, 2010
(Creator)

thank you so very much for your lovely comments ......eliza

Singergirl2000
May 15, 2010

Helpful:

This is really good. You're amazing at saying a lot of information in just a few words, and you have great rhythm. Is this fiction? Or is it based on an actual historic event? I also loved how vivid it was. Very well tied up also, introducing it with the petals and then ending with it too. I really enjoyed it

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 15, 2010
(Creator)

no this really happened,lady jane grey was a tragic pawn in the tudor times .her and her young husband guildford dudley were both beheaded at the tower of london aged17.....15.53 ..thank you ..eliza

Desmond
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

A very interesting piece of history - and very well told by you.
Sent to the tower and beheaded - Lady Jane [not you of course]
Long live the Queen.

An enjoyable read - good work.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

thank you Desmond ....always good to hear from you ...eliza

DavidRobert
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

I really loved this. Simple and beautiful, good use of rhythm. Keep it up.

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

thank you so much and nice to meet you ....eliza

ChrisChua
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

Love this!

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

thank you for taking the time to read and comment ...eliza

Whiskurz
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

Great Write!

Another Great Write Eliza......keep them coming.....Whiskurz

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

thank you again for your great comments ...eliza

Kassandra
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

9 days of fear and regret

Yes a lovely poem for such a beautiful person. I think this says so much in such a relatively small amount of lines how much do I love the way you write Eliza. Keep on hun and you need to learn to believe in yourself as much as we all do.
Yours Kassie

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

Oh Kassie thank you.. ...eliza

delicatedelight
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

encore encore

lovely

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

so grateful for your review ...thank you ....eliza

JayadevKar
May 14, 2010

Helpful:

good

nicely written

Additional Comments (1)

eliza
May 14, 2010
(Creator)

thank you for your words ...eliza

Authors, Share Your Book with Millions of Readers

Sponsored Ads By Members

   Writers-Network.com was granted non-exclusive rights to display this work
   All poetry, stories, columns, and other member contributions are owned solely by the poster
   © Writers-Network.com - All Rights Reserved
   Get Your Free Poetry Site! | Read Todays' Poems | Upgrade to PRO | Writing Community