A Poem by asensation


Author: asensation
Created: March 21, 2011 at 02:59 pm
Upload Type: Poem, T (13+)  
Category: Love | Fantasy | Relationships
Upload Stats: 4.9 Stars by 10 users with 11 comments and 294 views

Application For A Love Loan  

I will need a love loan from your bank,
to tide me over in this period of drought,
so I come cap in hand to be bailed out,
my requests before you have drawn a blank.

I mis-invested too much of my warm heart,
on an attractive proposition with no solution,
leaving my reserves in a state of disillusion,
and all my sincere affection taken apart.

A short term credit with long term interest,
profit is well assured when my love overflows,
you cannot make a loss with what I propose,
I know you want to, though you feign disinterest.

Stay with me at this time of my love crunch,
and I will be with you thru rain or shine,
plus my name shall be first on your credit line,
come on now why don't you follow your hunch.

Ma'am let me secure this loan with my heart,
but if you may prefer any other body part,
and if you allow me to consolidate all my debt,
I make this vow in earnest to never forget.





Last Modified: March 21, 2011 at 03:04 pm
© asensation - all rights reserved

Author Notes


I noticed the message, So I am off to get a loan. Now can you see???


 
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Comments & Reviews ( X 14)



Kassandra
March 24, 2011
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Such a sweet piece
Very well done and an interesting title. nice to see something out of the ordinary and unique and you did well here stamping your clear voice on this. Well done indeed
Yours Kassie



(Author)
Thank you for your kind comments to my scribblings. I am honored.

 asensation replied on March 24, 2011




fireice
March 23, 2011
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C A P T I V A T I N G....
Written as if love were in the starched collar world labelled as a controllable substance. Never in love have I found this to be true. The delay to grant your request for a loan is lost until reasons are disclosed in full.

Admittance of a past dream love gone astray. Stormy relations unforeseen resulting in undeniable pain and angst. Left hanging in the breeze of rage.

I see one that teases in a jaunty meandering wanton behavior. Extreme self confidence boasting as a carrot dangled under the nose of a rabbit. The enticement comes to play, moving just out of reach bringing desires hieight up to the peak.

In between the decision delays, a lust transaction took place. Seductive persausion flattery flowers will bloom.

Further enticing strokes you lay on, offerings disguised in a mask of mystery. Promises of wishes fulfilled happily........... to become real if she bites on his bodily bait.

"Never to forget" -- the banker woman or you???? Is there a performance guaranty available? Or a taste before buy?

Your discourse was very persuasive I believe I would give the loan tr-fold......

Great work my friend. Don't know how you can bring these poems to life. For they do live and breath. The set, emotion, drama and sensual arousal is.....L O V E L Y.....

FIERCE -- Owner of the bank!!!! Ha....ha....ha....



(Author)
Oh wow, wow, wow, you have gone and written a full prose poem, essay, treatise. What a wonderful riposte to my poem. Well if you are the banker then I am a customer hoping to secure a loan. Thanks a bunch.

 asensation replied on March 24, 2011


(Author)
Oh wow, wow, wow, you have gone and written a full prose poem, essay, treatise. What a wonderful riposte to my poem. Well if you are the banker then I am a customer hoping to secure a loan. Thanks a bunch.

 asensation replied on March 24, 2011




DonaldMRowe
March 22, 2011
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Good creative job D. !!!! A deep bow from me... if they don't give ya the loan..bust out the heater from the violin case..then you will be the gangster of love ! Great job bro !!



(Author)
Thank you bro, let's hope my application is accepted.

 asensation replied on March 24, 2011




elphie
March 22, 2011
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This is wonderfully written . Continue the wonderful work.



(Author)
I will try, thank you for your encouragements.

 asensation replied on March 22, 2011


you are very welcome

 elphie replied on March 22, 2011




blossomwriter
March 22, 2011
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Spotlight!
I loved your poem, sensationally mesmerizing with every beat of the word, fille with significance spoken, the elements of position in the poem really grab attention in certain aspects, the compromise of heart has been elevated to a more serious level. My your pen accompanies such genuis creative talent, what a lucky pen! Your work is astounding!



(Author)
Thank you Blossom for your encouragement, I bow.....

 asensation replied on March 22, 2011




SecretDrew
March 22, 2011
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No words



(Author)
None needed, save to ask if I can apply for your credit.

 asensation replied on March 22, 2011




lalipenz
March 22, 2011
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5
Yes Mamm you can give this man the love loan
In case he is unable to pay do make him mortgage his sever and a half inches which he would be more that happy to repay his debt with if you are willing to have a power lunch with him
super write no questions asked o Versifier spotlight



(Author)
Well in this credit crunch I will be so lucky to get any type of loan.

 asensation replied on March 22, 2011


that's why I suggested power lunch

 lalipenz replied on March 24, 2011




Vashthestampede0
March 21, 2011
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Awesome mate :-D
This is unbelievable, I swear man your writing is amazing you know that, I can understand the full meaning behind the entire thing, great one :-D

Regards
Vash T.S



(Author)
Thanks man, with reviews like this I will keep em rolling.

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011




Caroline
March 21, 2011
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My My
You are on a proverbial roll my dear!! You just can't stop that dancing pen of yours now can you?? Keep 'em coming..I love every single one of them. Good write, BW



(Author)
Thanks, you won't happen to be giving out loans are you, I jest, I jest, sigh.

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011




heav1234
March 21, 2011
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Holy crap Sense everyone needs one of those. Sign me up. THis was beautiful i'm speechless i agree sleonard that the last stanza was brilliant but this whole thing is just one wonderful message painted into a beautiful masterpiece. I love this Sense and this is totally going To be Spotlighted. I wish we had one of those like buttons or where you could add to favorite cause i would so freaking to that. Jame Bond. Ohh yeahhh.. Thank you so very very very much for sharing Sense i loved it.



(Author)
Thank you Heav for your beautiful endorsement.

 asensation replied on March 22, 2011




sLeonard
March 21, 2011
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reading the last stanza, i've thought how i'd never read such sincere words. I don't know, they just wrapped so tight around my heart, i strained to breathe, and when i was released with your last line, the new breath was so sweet, so full of love and loss that i wanted to weep. You noticed the message, yet your bribery is so promising, so compelling in it's sensitivity and wholesome trust that it will pull in your Rose... it has, but her stem has no support on your soil, no touches wrapped around your fingers and instead, only her thorns draw blood.
A beautiful write none the less, one of the sweetest, most beautiful i've read. (: x



(Author)
Thank you and good luck, ah!! but what an inspiration 4 months non-stop, almost irreplaceable.

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011


Irreplaceable... hmm... watch this space

 sLeonard replied on March 21, 2011


(Author)
I'm watching, and waiting with bathed breath, what should I watch for??

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011


Irreplaceable

 sLeonard replied on March 21, 2011


(Author)
Okay. Give me a nudge so I don't miss out .

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011


http://www.writers-network.com/index.cgi

 sLeonard replied on March 21, 2011


(Author)
Ok will check it out, I'm trembling in anticipation

 asensation replied on March 21, 2011




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