A Poem by sachio


Author: sachio
Created: July 19, 2012 at 08:39 pm
Upload Type: Poem, G (All)  
Category: General/Other | General/Other | General/Other
Upload Stats: 4.66 Stars by 3 users with 3 comments and 186 views

Sea Siren  

She slips in
   over,
   and down
Green glass waves
   her curves
She crashes
   on the smooth sand
   and rolls in the foam
Her black-ribbon hair
   floats on
   foam-flecked billows
She beckons
   come,
      come,
         shhhhhh
My heart aches to answer
   that call
but I fear
the cruelty
of her cold embrace.


© sachio - all rights reserved

Author Notes


i couldn't quite get the formatting right on this... T-T


 
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Comments & Reviews



cinnamynvapor
July 19, 2012
Helpful? Thumbs UpThumbs Down
very visually stimulating
wow I really liked that... as I read the words I could visualize the image to go with them just after... i loved the way you used terms that sounded like you were referring to a person, but it was also easy to tell it was the sea. i liked the personality of it



(Author)
thanks!

 sachio replied on July 19, 2012




JeSuisPorcelain
July 19, 2012
Helpful? Thumbs UpThumbs Down
This is awesome. I love it! "but I fear the cruelty of her cold embrace", this is my favorite.



(Author)
thanks for reading and the kind comment!

 sachio replied on July 19, 2012




rayat14
July 19, 2012
Helpful? Thumbs UpThumbs Down
Interesting
Very different to what I've normally read, I love how it goes straight to the point and the content is detailed. It's beautifully written (no worries on the formatting), It unfolds really well and I like the depth of emotion exposed towards the end. Overall nice piece,.



(Author)
thank you ^_^

 sachio replied on July 19, 2012




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