A Play by EdwinBozie


Author: EdwinBozie
Created: May 18, 2017 at 01:41 pm
Upload Type: Play, T (13+)  
Category: Humor | Fanfiction | Fiction
Upload Stats: 14 views

Emma Colette in 'When Our Weapons Are Gone'

EMMA COLETTE IN ‘WHEN OUR WEAPONS ARE GONE’


(One bright day in a certain sekai (world)…there is a knock on Ed’s door)


ED: (SNO-O-O-O-RE…SNO-O-O-O-ORE…MUMBLE MUMBLE MUMBLE)


 


Meanwhile a distance off


(There is a mobile van with listening equipment that can pick sound up a huge distance away).


EAVES 1: There’s nothing coherent coming from his mouth at night.


EAVES 2: And in the daytime he keeps his mouth shut.


(Listening equipment finally picks up coherent sound).


EAVES 1: Hey listen! He’s starting to talk.


ED: If Babidi gets hold of the Dragonballs X when our weapons are gone.


 


NEXT DAY…


(Knock knock knock on the door of Ed’s shack).


ED: (Lazily) Hold on Emma, I’m coming.


(Shuffling sounds followed by the opening of the door).


EMMA: Hello Ed! What’ze up?


ED: If only Babidi gets hold of the Dragonballs X When all our weapons are gone…


EMMA: Him (points to Ed) looks to be sleep acting. (Slap!) Wake up Ed! (Double slaps!)


ED: Ouch! What was that for Emma?!


EMMA: You’ze were awake? Oh, sorry about that.


ED: You’ze did that on purpose!


EMMA: Quit teasing my accent! By the way, do you know there are mobile vans hidden in the mountains with high grade listening equipment?


ED: What’cha talking about?! That should have been obvious from the day Mata Nui had a bug on his shoulders in Reborn.


EMMA: Don’tcha dare talk about Vongola Bells or so help me I’ll smack you down into reality.


ED: No, the loud buzzing of the Sister Of The South far eclipses Vongola Bells. What are they trying to do? Block my ability to read waves?


EMMA: That almost sounded like a joke.


ED: (Lightning flashes across his mind) Runs into the kitchen and opens the drawers, searching furiously).


EMMA: What’cha doing?


ED: (Glances at her from the corner of his eyes). What are you now, a character from Phineas and Ferb?


EMMA: Then lemme rephrase. What’cha looking for?


ED: (Lightning flashes through his mind) OH MY…! HE REALLY WENT AND DID IT!


EMMA: What’cha talking about?


ED: Imagine what the world would be like if someone went and made a wish on the Dragonballs that ‘em weapons would just disappear.


EMMA: That would be impossible. Everyone knows…


ED: I already told you’ze anime characters have been crossing over into reality since ‘em Wolfbarons of Shining Force ver. MMO made their move. Just imagine.


EMMA: Can’t imagine.


ED: Hence I’m retitling the EP…


 


 


 


IF BABIDI GETS HOLD OF THE DRAGONBALLS X WHEN ALL OUR WEAPONS ARE GONE


Scenario:


BABIDI: Finally found it! The seventh Dragon Ball! Eternal Dragon grant me my wish! I wish all weapons on earth would disappear!


SHENLONG: Your wish has been granted.


ED: HOWEVER! What Babidi failed to consider about convenient wishes is that…cooking utensils have also been used as weapons! Think about the knives, the forks the frying pans…the very beautiful frying pans!


EMMA: TCH! He could have just said weapons of war.


ED: He dun it. He dun it! He really really dun it! No No No dear Emma…


EMMA: He just had an inverted mood swing. Just like a battery, negative to positive.


ED: The purpose is to rid the world of all weapons however… (lightning flashes again as Ed looks up). Ceiling fan gone. That’s one ridiculous weapon of suicide eliminated.


EMMA: Hey Ed! The ceiling fan is no weapon!


ED: (Runs to bathroom) Toilet and bath gone!


EMMA: Why the heck would a serious wish rid the world of toilets!


ED: It may not happen often amongst you gals but the WC is a proficient weapon for bullying. Just think how many heads have been flushed down that thing. The awful horror! I thought it was only an element of fiction.


EMMA: So I guess the point is…wishes aren’t as convenient as one may think especially when someone appears who insists they can grant your wish.


ED: Ayoo…next thing you know they’ll be using your copyrighted words from your own mouth to tell you why your wish went bad. In the end the moral of the story is a question…


WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD DISAPPEAR FROM YOUR LIFE IF BABIDI MADE A WISH ON ‘EM DRAGONBALLS THAT WEAPONS WOULD DISAPPEAR?


EMMA: I don’t want to think about it. Some people’s tongues and hands and feet are rather proficient weapons. Methinks some people might lose body parts.


THE END.


P.S: Mobile van with listening equipment…gone!



Last Modified: May 18, 2017 at 01:59 pm
© EdwinBozie - all rights reserved

Author Notes


Once more, this is just a fanfic of a work that does not exist...yet

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