A Poem by RachelMurray


Author: RachelMurray
Created: November 14, 2017 at 09:21 am
Upload Type: Poem, T (13+)  
Category: Suicide | Tragedy | Love
Upload Stats: 4.33 Stars by 3 users with 3 comments and 35 views

Bleeding Lies, Breathing Lines  

You used to bleed solemn lies from your mouth
While your skin breathed words through jagged lines.
The lies were cold, a streaming stark blue, as
Your words were so red, strewn along your arms fine.
And I loved you despite this, despite your own fading
Heart, made dying slowly and turning a pale grey.
Despite the way self-hatred seized your lungs to run
Down, leaving what’s left behind a green-tinted decay.
But love was never enough, now was it? To make
Your colors a rich orange again, a soothing yellow dear.
No, you needed so much more I never had to begin
With. It’s no surprise now, just why you left me here.
And I wish it was just this town so dreary you left,
Or the church’s steeple that’s began to droop low.
Yet I know it wasn’t, how could it have honestly been?
When you hadn’t even told me you were to go.
It wasn’t till I came home that I saw you, lying there
Drowning in moonlight, bled dry from all your lies.
It was this last goodbye, the only token you gave,
All summed up in one final, red vertical, long line.



Last Modified: November 14, 2017 at 09:22 am
© RachelMurray - all rights reserved


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Comments & Reviews ( X 6)



richom
November 15, 2017
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Suspenseful and well-crafted. Even more admirable since it was written by someone your age. Thank you for posting it.
applaudapplaudapplaud


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lyrycsyntyme
November 14, 2017
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Wow. The intensity just grew and grew, cased in quite a few great metaphors along the way. My favorite, your placement and usage of "drowning in moonlight." So vivid in it's context.
applaudapplaudapplaud


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chrome
November 14, 2017
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GREAT!!!
Awesome!!!!



(Author)
I appreciate you reading my work, but please refrain from the excessive amount of exclamation marks next time reviewing a serious poem such as this one. This poem talks of suicide, despair, love, and tragedy all rolled into one and yet all you said was "awesome!!!!" which is in no way a proper review or response, which can be said the same of the reviews I have seen from the comments you give others. Telling me it is "GREAT!!!" with nothing more and no thought put in is just you out to get points and nothing else. Please, do not review my poems again if this 'review' is what I am to expect.

 RachelMurray replied on November 14, 2017




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